Money is one of the most common sources of tension in marriage, often because couples don’t talk about it enough before tying the knot.
Marriage is a deeply personal relationship, but it also has characteristics of a business arrangement — there’s money flowing in and out, and it needs to be managed wisely. What makes marriage different from business is the emotional component tied to financial decisions. With that in mind, here are important topics couples should discuss before saying “I do.”
Combining Accounts
Many people enter marriage with existing financial accounts. Should you merge everything or keep it separate? Separate accounts provide independence, while joint accounts foster shared goals. A hybrid approach — keeping individual accounts while contributing to a joint account for shared expenses — often works well.
According to Mariana Martinez, Senior Lead Family Dynamics Specialist at Well Fargo, “The advantage of having some level of financial interdependence is that it provides a sense of ‘we are in this together’ and ‘we trust each other.’”
Housing
Older couples may each own a home, raising questions such as:
- Will they live in one person’s home, or sell and buy a new one together?
- What are the tax consequences, particularly with capital gains?
Financial Goals
Discuss your financial lifestyle preferences: How much do you want to spend on dining out, travel, or a new home?
Also, prioritize emergency savings. Most experts recommend having three to six months of living expenses saved — more if one spouse doesn’t earn income. Disability and life insurance should also be evaluated or updated to reflect your new situation. As your family changes, revisit how much coverage you need.
Lastly, consider your long-term investment goals and risk tolerance. A financial advisor can help answer the question: “How are we doing?”
Budgeting
Financial success often comes from saving first and spending what’s left — not the other way around. Many couples lack a clear budget and end up saving nothing. Listing monthly income and expenses is a great start to identifying how much you can set aside toward goals like buying a home.
For example, setting up a savings fund for a down payment can help reduce mortgage size and monthly costs down the road.
Debt
Debt can be a sensitive subject. Some people avoid borrowing, while others are more comfortable with it. Honest conversations can help couples find a shared approach.
It's also essential to disclose any pre-marriage debt. Decide whether to combine or keep debts and credit histories separate. Each person may want to maintain their own credit cards and credit history to help preserve financial independence. This approach may also help protect a spouse with strong credit if the other has a poor history.
Prenuptial Agreements
While not the easiest topic, prenuptial (or premarital) agreements may help preserve individual assets and set expectations — especially if there are children from a prior relationship or inherited family assets. A prenup can support both financial transparency and independence.
It’s best to discuss this well before the wedding, not at the last minute. Conversations about a prenup often lead to deeper discussions about partnership, responsibility, and values. If you’re considering one, consult an attorney early.
Estate Planning Strategies
Though it's uncomfortable, estate planning strategies are crucial — at any age. Once you’re legally responsible for each other, you should plan for the unexpected.
Start by reviewing life insurance needs and updating beneficiary designations on life insurance, IRAs, and Qualified Retirement Plans (QRPs). These designations override instructions in wills or trusts, so be sure they're up to date — especially in second marriages.
With open communication and early investment planning, you and your partner can lay the groundwork for a strong, secure future. As basic as it sounds, once you break the barrier around the money conversation, you’ll hopefully have already taken a huge step toward future financial success. Congratulations on your big day!
Wells Fargo & Company and its affiliates do not provide tax or legal advice. This communication cannot be relied upon to avoid tax penalties. Please consult your tax and legal advisors to determine how this information may apply to your own situation. Whether any planned tax result is realized by you depends on the specific facts of your own situation at the time your tax return is filed.
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